Where did you get a picture of my penis
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
