You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
