My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
