Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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