Sry I called you an 8
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
love makes seman taste better
He felt like a one man threesome
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize