Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
