HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
