Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize