Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize