We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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