great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize