So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
