I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
