put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
