I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
