so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
