Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize