I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
