hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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