My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize