Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
