I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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