There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
