your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Is Oprah even human
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
