I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
