wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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