so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just invented taco cereal.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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