Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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