If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
