She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
