Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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