Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
