well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
