A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
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