hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize