Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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