I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
