I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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