If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
