doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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