I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize