He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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