Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
