Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
