so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
