operation have a gay friend backfired
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
