My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
