Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
