come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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