I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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