Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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