I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
