The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
