So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think my vagina is haunted
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
