And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize