Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
