We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
