I just pynch a tree in the face
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
