the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
