Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
