grandma shit on top of the toilet
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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